The wedding, on our (my) terms

If it is to be believed that all humans are created equal

Then the wedding should be planned by the participants: both people

I want a wedding in a Tree house, a wedding in a sand castle

A wedding on a butterfly farm with 17 guests to avoid the hassle

I attended a wedding once, it was at City Hall

it was overcrowded like a construction site with not enough portable bathroom stalls

The surrounding neighbors were frustrated - they cried: "Why do you irk us?"

Why would you turn your Holy Matrimony into a great big circus?

I know why, it's because you wanna be seen

Your wedding became your manifestation of your materialistic dream

Your friends and family flipping through your photos in Ovation Magazine

Not I, my ceremony will be on a submarine

That sailed around the world sharing recipes for the Navarin

With everything captured on a little camcorder LCD screen

Picture perfect, my wedding is for my memory

For the MC I'll time travel to the 90s and bring back Bill Bellamy

I'm a health nut, so the wedding menu might be ice tea and celery

All in my mind, this is how I planned it

If I had the oxygen capacity I'd get married on a different planet

Maybe Saturn, because she wanted a big ring

But I'll have 50% of the decision of which extraterrestrial band that sings

The Pastor? I like the French, so he could be Sylvain Wiltord

The ring would be delivered by a 3-legged Alligator in a Bart Simpson mask on a skateboard

Yes it all sounds strange, but this is the path I am treading

Because at the end of the day, it is my wedding

The 4am Saturday Commercial Wedding Rant

There's a line in a previous poem on this blog about weddings that goes as follows;

"The surrounding neighbors were frustrated, they said 'Why do you irk us?

Why would you turn your wedding ceremony into one big circus?'"

Last night, someone uploaded this picture on Blackberry Messenger and, while understanding fully well that folks have the right to show off this kinda stuff, I wrote the following and sent it out as a broadcast message to all my contacts. Kinda surprised it made any sense. 

"Staged, contrived, vomit inducing "moments" like these milk other disillusioned sheep of their savings and turn an intimate ceremony into a circus. 

Who is the ringmaster of this circus? Consumerism and it's long tentacles of materialism that link self esteem to public acts of ceremonial branding. A pathetic promotion of "me too-ism" that sweeps through the consciousness of brainwashed couples (and singles) flipping through glossy capitalist pages of profit driven media outlets that display the in-your-face grandeur of the upper class and their disgusting opulence as the be-all and end-all of life.

Wide eyed, deceived marionettes and mannequins cannot see consumerism's strings. If they could, they'd follow in the footsteps of multimillionaires like the founder of the world's most popular online social network whose ceremony was conducted in the privacy of his backyard under the guidance of humility and the acknowledgment of the intimacy this moment requires.

Blessed are the non-conformists, for they shall inherit the leftovers of the gluttonous acts of societal peer pressure and groupthink, and raise the next generation of socialists that put communal interests first, and abolish abused scripture stamped approval of ceremonial showmanship.

A humble humanity counts on this."

Marvin's (weight) Room

♫ The woman that I would try, is happy with a fat guy

But I’ve been lifting so much, that I’mma call her anyway and say ♫

♫ F*ck that hippoooo that you love so baaaad,

I know you still think about my lack of flaaaab ♫

♫ I say f*ck that rhino that you think you fooound

Your head on my shoulder, muscular and round ♫

♫ Ohhh ohh ohhhh ♫

‘’Are you pumped right now?’’

♫ I’m just saying you could do better

Holding hands, we’ll jog together ♫

The convenience of fortune telling dreams

A friend posted the following status message on facebook:

''Had a dream someone I know robbed my sister & I masked...not knowing it would be us but continued....I couldnt get to gun #foreshadowing?''

The first response said: 

''Good that you could get gun....just pray..sometimes dreams are meant to make you more cautious..pay attention to detail.....tell all to slow down and be more aware. pray first rebuke and bind that dream''

 My friend replied:

 ''Couldnt...and yeah that was my first step...i have dreams that tell the future...this isnt one of them...i know what those feel like now....but something still remains weird about this one...is like who it was is not important but instead the type of person...a flashy person always in the mix...that some would assume had it all that i know is a loyal person but only to thosd he cares about...out robbing and ashamed to support the lifestyle...tomorrow is not promised...cherish the day fbers...sveryone you think cares even though ashamed...they have goals...it could be at your expense''

I'm fascinated at how the first commenter (mistakenly) thought it was ''good'' my friend could get his gun and in the same breath also urged him to ''pray first rebuke and bind that dream.'' Seems to me the presence of the former would not require the latter as a means of security. Anyway, I could have sworn cooperating while being robbed more often than not ensures the avoidance of risk of loss of life and injury, rather than react violently and risk a potentially fatal outcome. Especially in this case where a family member is involved. But he didn't elaborate on the details of the dream that prompted him to reach for a gun that wasn't there so I'm just speculating on what I read.

I do wonder, however, how this dream (and conversation between the two) would have played out if they lived in say, the United Kingdom where strict laws against gun ownership exist as opposed to Texas, where my friend resides and I assume is where he was located when he had the dream. Perhaps he would have been equipped with a knife or, unarmed and forced to cooperate? It's quite interesting how one's surroundings affect their thought process and subconscious.

Now the interpretation of the note of caution makes sense. But this is what stood out for me in the reply from my friend;

''i have dreams that tell the future''

As seen in the full quote at the beginning of this post, he did state that this particular dream wasn't one of them, but I was still struck (as always, despite hearing them repeatedly from other people that share in his faith-based belief system) by this revelation. However, from what I've observed, these Nostradamus predictions almost always deal with the immediate surroundings (made up mostly of personalized experiences) of the dreamer (usually involving family and friends but sometimes complete strangers) and hardly ever stuff that strays out of that surrounding (unless of course you're a public religious figure, in which case, the predictions are more grandiose). For example; I don't know of anyone that had a dream which predicted Fermat's last theorem would be solved by British mathematician Sir Andrew Wiles, or that the Higgs Boson particle would be discovered 48 years after Professor Peter Higgs publicized his theory in 1964.

The only two people that could reasonably have had such ''dreams'' that predicted their respective futures are the individuals mentioned; i.e Wiles and Higgs, and possibly their family, close friends, and colleagues privy to their day-to-day work. It is for this reason that I take with a pinch of salt ''prediction'' dreams which sometimes originate from a supernataural source (based on the beliefs of the dreamer). My friend is a christian, and as seen from the first response to his status message, it didn't take long for communication with god through ''prayer'' (a popular post-dream action when contents of the dream depict threats) to be suggested. My friend's affirmative response (''yeah that was my first step'') suggests ''prayer'' would somehow lead to an intervention from above that would prevent the events of the dream unfolding in reality at a future time.

This makes me think of the biblical story of Joseph in Genesis chapter 37 who also saw ''future events.'' I find it extremely convenient how the dreams of many Christians I've encountered who ''predict future events'' happen to fall in line with Joseph's and rarely deviate. 

If there was no story of Joseph and his dreams (including other biblical stories of ''visions'' revealed during slumber), would these folks (that subscribe to the belief system that weaved these tales) categorically state they could see the future in their dreams? I doubt it.

Birthday Analogies Atop Ferris Wheels

I said to her; "On this day, I would abandon all dieting rules and regulations and take you out for ice cream. I would deliberately get my favorite flavor, Butter Pecan, on the tip of your nose just so I could kiss it off. Then, I would take you to the neighborhood amusement park. A significant choice since all my declarations of affection for you did nothing more than make you laugh. We would ride the Ferris Wheel and, at the apex of the ride, I would tell you to look down at the beautiful  landscape below us, and that its aesthetically alluring composition that came together in the most impressive manner of man and nature's collaborative symphony, was a personification of your facial features. Features that I stared at for a disturbing length of time."

She smirked in between bites of cotton candy and replied; "You are such a shallow individual. Would your on-again-off-again fixation on someone you've never met ever come to fruition if I wasn't this attractive?"

"Maybe not," I replied, "but I have no one to blame for that but you." The Ferris Wheel ride came to an end. We returned to earth from the clouds, unfastened our seat belts, and headed for the park's exit. 

We shared a hug. "I wish you the happiest of birthdays," I said. "Thank you. Now I have to catch a flight to be with my boyfriend who is waiting for me. Maybe one day we'll meet in an actual tangible reality where you can see the sides of my eyes wrinkle in an appreciative smile for your efforts" she replied.

With that, she hopped into the city's reliable public transportation system, and disappeared over the late afternoon horizon. It was then I woke up, headed to my computer, and wrote every word that preceded exactly where I stop now.