Cherry Picking On Democracy Day

Democracy Day in Nigeria is held annually on May 29^th, to celebrate the country’s return to Democracy on this day in 1999, when former Military ruler (1976-1979) Olusegun Obasanjo was elected as a civilian head of state after 16 years of military rule. Obasanjo’s second stint lasted from 1999 – 2007. He must have really enjoyed it, because he tried to change the constitution to let him rule for a third term (which would have ended last year) but thankfully, his efforts were thwarted. Moving on. 

I just read the transcript of Nigerian President Goodluck Jonathan’s “Democracy Day” address to the nation. Click HERE to read it from the Vanguard. In the address, the President went down the to-do list of the Federal Government and stated what measures were being taken, in different sectors of the economy including Agriculture, Education, and Power generation, to improve said sectors and therefore the overall quality of life for Nigerians.

For instance, on fertilizers, the President said the following:

“We have ended the practice of Federal Government procurement and distribution of fertilizers. This we did because only 11% of farmers get the fertilizers that are bought and distributed by government. The old system encouraged rent seekers to collude and deprive farmers of access to fertilizers, while some of the fertilizers ended up with political farmers and in neighbouring countries.”

Here is a March 29^th article from the Daily Independent titled: “Federal Govt approves N27b for fertilizer, cancels distribution by government” Read it HERE

On education, the President said the following:

“The Federal Government has launched a Special Presidential Scholarship Scheme for our best and brightest brains. We are selecting the best out of our First Class graduates in various disciplines, especially engineering and science. They will be sent for post-graduate studies in the best universities in the world, with the expectation that this will lay the foundation for a desirable scientific and technological revolution that will take Nigeria into Space in the not too distant future.”

Blogger Dabesaki Ikemenjima (@dabesaki) analyzed the president’s plan three days ago on the 26^th in a blog post. “On President Jonathan’s new PhD Scholarship Scheme.” Read it HERE

But steps taken by the government towards improvements in agriculture, education and other areas articulated by President Jonathan today weren’t what clogged by Twitter timeline when I woke up this morning. The hullabaloo was over this in the President’s speech:

“After very careful consideration, and in honour of Chief M.K.O. Abiola’s accomplishments and heroism, on this Democracy Day, the University of Lagos, is renamed by the Federal Government of Nigeria, Moshood Abiola University, Lagos. The Federal Government will also establish an Institute of Democratic Studies and Governance in the University.” 

Chief M.K.O. Abiola was a successful and popular Nigerian businessman who ran for president in 1993 in elections widely considered to be free and fair, only to have the results annulled by then military ruler Ibrahim Babangida. June 12, 1993, the date of the presidential election, is now a public holiday observed in some Southern states of Nigeria including Lagos and Abiola’s home state of Ogun.

So, considering how revered Abiola is here in Lagos, with folks like Ovation magazine owner Dele Momodo frequently tweeting about him as if he were a god, it was a quite a surprise to me to learn that some students of the soon-to-be-formerly-named University of Lagos (UNILAG) were protesting the President’s decision, as reported HERE by BusinessDay and other media outlets.

In the blogosphere, I read a sarcasm-laden post (HERE) from a Tolu Orekoya, who’s central theme was focused on a Nigerian “space race.” Reading his post without reading the President’s transcript would lead one to believe that space travel was the crux of GEJ’s speech. Considering we already have a very frustrated polity who believe the government isn’t prioritizing issues important to them, stuff like this would only bolster this misguided sentiment.

Another individual by the name of Kayode Ogundamisi, a former Secretary General of the Oduduwa People’s Congress, posted the following in his blog (HERE)

“I view President Ebele Jonathan’s gesture to rename University of Lagos after Moshood Abiola as an insult to the nationalistic caliber of the 1993 democratically elected president of Nigeria who gave his life for the mandate given to him by the people of Nigeria. It is an attempt to denigrate such a unanimously elected leader to a regional head. This is unacceptable. We look to this government to rename a more representative edifice, in Abuja something nationalistic e.g. the current Abuja National Stadium. Abiola was well known for his contribution to sports in Nigeria and Africa as a whole.”

Considering the importance of education in this country, one would think that naming a University after a man who worked there as a Senior Accountant in its Teaching Hospital would not be an insult to his legacy via denigration. Speaking of insults, exactly what is Mr Ogundamisi trying to insinuate when he says that a University that has been in existence for five decades isn’t high enough on the representative edifice scale to be considered?

But here’s the kicker from Mr Ogundamisi:

“We implore this government to stop majoring on the minor and start focusing on its primary responsibilities”

Oh the irony. Furthermore, I looked up the website for the Oduduwa People’s Congress and on its “About” page it says the following which you can read HERE

“OPC is a non-political, non-partisan group”

As a former representative of said group, Mr Ogundamisi’s post is anything but.

Moving on, check out this tweet:

RT @DemolaSadiq: Notice how the issues of bombing and power have been avoided on democracy day :) RT @iamTFlava: Its funny how Entertaining the Nigeria Government is. I mean.....this a classic case of hmmm "Let's give them something to talk about"

Let’s refer to the transcript on bombing:

“Terrorism, a new menace, totally alien to our way of life and culture,has reared its head and is posing a serious challenge.  My thoughts and prayers go  to the victims of the terrorist attacks, and their families. we are determined to review some of the existing laws, to further strengthen the national counter-terrorism strategy. Coordinated joint action among our security agencies has now assumed greater importance.” – President Jonathan

Let’s refer to the transcript on power:

“The commitment of this Administration to the provision of regular and uninterrupted power supply remains strong and unwavering.  We all agree that adequate and regular power supply will be the significant trigger to enhance this nation’s productive capacity and accelerate growth.” – President Jonathan

So clearly, some of us skipped the details and instead chose to focus on a University being renamed after a Nigerian icon. Last I checked, UNILAG is a Federal University, meaning it’s owned by the Federal Government so they are well within their rights to call it “The University of Crocodiles Eating Cornflakes” if they choose to. We have much more important issues to focus on. The President laid it all out in his speech today. I would have expected that more would have been made of other more pressing issues of substance rather than this. Let's focus.

Handstand: Immemorial

If looks could fill, my eyes would regurgitate images that had my vision bursting at the seams

Desirable athleticism in shorts on a beach, the stuff of dreams

She looked like a superhero pushing Earth back into its orbit after the asteroid attack

Then stood upright to see every man between 18 and 45 waiting to rub suntan lotion on her back

Onlookers envied the portion of the shore upon which her palms rest

"With gravity defying colors" is how they described her passing the fitness test

Figures like her's part clouds, let the sun shine and push back the storm

Witness how the Yacht, waves, and horizon stare longingly at her impeccable form

Everything that's right within this world that exists for no reason at all encapsulated within a single picture
Inspiration of biblical proportions the type of which is recited by theists in scripture

The attempt is futile to argue against her twitter handle that contains the slang "swag"
Your gaze gets in the cockpit, flies around her numerous curves, then passes out from jet lag

What she exudes I'd hawk with infomercial enthusiasm and the humility of a street panhandler
You tell me looking at her doesn't get you singing a rendition of "Golden Brown" by the Stranglers

In a single word.....amazing.

Online Fatal Attraction

Originally published on Wednesday, May 13, 2009, on facebook.

So whatchu talkin 'bout..."I need to get to know you"?

My whole life is online, no privacy, it's see-through

Got a thousand friends, more popular than Skywalker

So 4 weeks on your profile page doesn't make me a stalker

I'm scratching my head, honestly I don't get it

We're the picture perfect couple, so what's there to edit?

You've seen my photos so you know what I look like

My profile's got my address, I'm 10 minutes from the Turnpike

You know my opinions, I tagged you in all my notes

You even know my favorite songs from my status update quotes

So I'm sitting here like, whadaya mean we just met?

We've been friends for 2 months, I coulda sworn we were all set

You've seen my family pictures, plus shots of all my relatives

You know where I stand on social drug use and and anti-depressant sedatives

You know my future plans, I wrote on your wall about Grad school

You wrote back, saying something like "good job, that's cool."

Really though, what more can I do or say?

I was the first person at 12 midnight to wish you a happy birthday!

When I log on, all I wish to do is seek thee

When your profile picture changes, so does the wallpaper on my p.c

Listen, I got the ring in my pocket, you know where this is heading

We got 75 mutual friends, they can all come to the wedding

Wait! What? What do you mean "restraining order"?

I think of you time-after-time like my name was Cyndi Lauper

Wait! Stop! Why are you running away?

My love is how-to-save-a-life so don't resist the Fray

We were made for each other since you first clicked that mouse

I even tagged myself in all your pics where you wore a low cut blouse

Stop! Come back here.............!!!

I wrote it all on the back of a napkin

One day while at the office, my colleague walked in wearing an ensemble similar to Olivia Munn pictured above. I was having lunch at my desk, and decided to scribble down on a napkin how nice she looked.

I wrote it all on the back of a napkin .... (the beginning)

Hey you, tall, graceful, living, breathing affirmation of your own aesthetic appeal as fact,

You with the grey skirt and pink shirt with the buttons down the back

Stunning visuals + your scent of a woman throws an observer's thought process off track

Watch them lay down their backpacks, trying to find the words to express which they lack

Physically you're like a deck of cards - stacked!

Images stayed with fans overnight till dawn cracked

Even illuminating the previous night when it was pitch black

In your presence, suitors sing "Killing Me Softly" by Roberta Flack

And what about the rumors that staring at you cures cataracts?

"IT WAS LIKE WINNING THE LOTTERY!!" he screamed, when all he did with you was interact

Reality Tv: "The Uber eligible Bachelorette." - Watch how savagely the competitors attack

..... several napkins (the end)

An Imagination (Mine)

Think of an imagination lost in a sea of simpletons, rationing flares

Occupying a void recently vacated by the second cousin of Steven Spielberg's nose hairs

An imagination wondering what life would be like 5 billion years from now in the Sun's final life cycle, a Red Giant

A destructive force, all consuming with a voracious appetite not seen since the divorce lawyers of Vanessa Bryant

An imagination that celebrates the interracial union of a round hole and a square peg

Then tells its children scary bedtime stories of Obasanjo as a Komodo Dragon that eats bunnies and Quail eggs

An imagination that understands the cheating spouse of a headless horseman justifying her actions with tales of cunninglingus frustration

Then gets divorced and remarries conjoined siamese twins: elation!

This imagination is wild - how wild?

The emperor's new clothes had a ketchup stain so he decapitated his dry cleaner and with his widow had his 17th child

This imagination gets no sleep, it wades in shallow pools in a thought process that's deep

Thinking about starting a weave business with inventory from the wool of sheep

Some say the imagination is insane, but it's magical and gave birth to David Blaine

And if we're not careful we might never see an imagination like this again