Children's Day and the importance of independent thought

"I definitely don't want to become a parent. It's not my bag" - Hollywood actor Sam Rockwell, on November 11th, 2007.

It should be noted that Sam Rockwell's parents separated when he was a young child. He moved to San Francisco with his father, and spent summers in New York with his mother. Where that fits into his decision not to become a parent is anyone's guess.

This is because, children that grow up with divorced parents can either be apathetic to marriage and parenting, or vow not to end up like their parents and choose to build strong, healthy marriages.

The important point is the role of personal choice that isn't influenced by reasons which can be detrimental to one's decision to start a family. If you are yet to have children and the multitude of pictures you've been bombarded with today act as peer pressure, then you need to take a step back.

Parenting is a lifelong investment. One that ties up resources and can be very restrictive when one considers the opportunity cost. Contrary to what many think, it is entirely possible to have a fulfilling life without having any children; Mother Teresa or former CNN journalist Roland Martin serve as examples.

Anyone who tells you to have children simply because;

1) "God said you should"
2) "Your mates are having children"
3) "You owe it to your parents"

without considering your economic status, is not to be considered sympathetic to your well being.

With a 60% poverty rate in Nigeria that hits millions of our children the hardest, the last thing we need is more begging on our streets, or resorting to crime simply because they've been neglected.

We also don't need more families in financial struggle or ruin simply because they couldn't afford to take care of children they didn't properly plan for.

I've noticed status messages today saying;

"Every child is my child."

It's a very trendy thing to say on a day like this, too bad it's not more mainstream enough to make a difference where it matters.

Sam Rockwell is a hollywood actor that could easily afford to have a child. He chose not to. It's my hope that those of us that are yet to have children have the independence of mind to decide whether or not it is the best thing for us and the children we plan to bring (or not bring) into this extremely harsh world.

Plan accordingly

Happy Children's Day.

A First Reason To Like Chris Brown Since 2009

I was buying groceries last night (May 20^th) when first I heard the catchy beat for what I did not know at the time was Chris Brown’s latest single “Fine China” from his upcoming sixth album “X.” I strained my ears to catch lyrics from the song that I could google later and got “Baby, you’re my baby” which didn’t make sense (but turned out to be “Baby, you’re my favorite.”) but I used them anyway and got results that included “Number One,” “I Love You,” and “Make Love.” I filtered through “Number One” in mere seconds before discarding it and then came upon the “Fine China” video before even checking the other two.

Nothing spectacular or original about the storyline in the above video. Overused plot and poor acting was what I was greeted with, and did Mr Brown really have to hit us over the head with the theme by including Asian actors in a video titled “Fine China”? C’mon man…..but anyway, this wasn’t directed by John Landis and I didn’t watch the video for Chris Brown’s acting skills. The song is what drove me to search online and what a lovely tune it is. It’s a refreshing head nodder that sees Brown going back to R&B after a lot of what I consider to be House/Techno-influenced garbage like “Don’t Wake Me Up,” and “Don’t Judge Me.” 

Despite nauseating songs (and videos) like the two I just mentioned, one thing that has always been impressive from Chris Brown is his dancing and he really put on a show in “Fine China.” What I especially liked was the nod to Michael Jackson and as far as I’m concerned, nobody in mainstream entertainment does it better than Breezy. An argument can be made for Usher but that’s about it. Don’t bother wasting my time with Ne-Yo and Justin Timberfake.

Thanks to YouTube, I found out that Chris Brown performed the song on Sunday the 19th at the Billboard Music Awards 

He put on an entertaining performance even though he seemed to struggle a bit with his voice, but my favorite clip for "Fine China" is the one below where he just dances throughout the entire track. 

Visuals from this clip where included in the original video but you kinda feel that Brown had to release a “Dance only” video to placate MJ fans like myself around the world. Peep the flawless spin move (from a crouching position, no less, with balance and form maintained throughout) at minute 1:32. I got chills at minute 1:50 when he belted out the legendary “Woo Hoo” ad lib. Look at the break dancing from 2:15 – 2:27 and how the camera pans out to give this talented young man the space he requires to dazzle the mind with his footwork. Absolutely loved the closing from 3:05 - 3:20 (especially 3:14 and the way they all switched perfectly with the beat). I’ve now watched this over a dozen times and already started thinking about how well it would work as a choreographed piece in a wedding reception or an office Christmas party. Ha!

As the title of this blog post states, I haven’t had a reason to like Chris Brown since 2009 and think his “Bad boy” image is completely unnecessary but like all truly gifted artists, he has the ability to silence all talk about anything other than his music and dancing and make you focus on exactly why he is such an authentic reincarnation of Michael Joseph Jackson on the dance floor.

Does this mean I’ll be purchasing his upcoming album “X”? I doubt it. For the record, I don’t own any of his previous albums. I just watch his videos for his moves and sing along when he releases something decent. In an interview with Ebony Magazine about his upcoming album, Brown is quoted as saying; 

“When you go through the album it’s diverse, it doesn’t just have that one sound”

That tells me we could be in for more horrible House/Techno (or whatever the hell it is) stuff like “Don’t Wake Me Up” and “Don’t Judge Me.” Don’t get me wrong though, I like that stuff when it works and a perfect example is 2010’s “Yeah 3x” which was the last time I checked for a Chris Brown song (and why I’m almost two months late on “Fine China”), but a lot of that hasn’t worked so I’ll patiently wait to hear the album first before deciding to buy. However, no matter what the album turns out to be, Chris Brown has given Michael Jackson fans everywhere a reason to crack a bright nostalgic smile and admire his effort on “Fine China.” I for one am very grateful. 

A Family Debates Sexism in the Church

This occurred earlier today between three siblings in a instant messenger chat room which the family uses via mobile phone to keep in touch. Rotus (yours truly) took one side, while Orhie and Ovie took the other:

Orhie: Tweet from @BBCBreaking: Justin Welby - @ABCJustin - confirmed new Archbishop of Canterbury, spiritual leader of 80m Anglicans around the world [Web link]

Rotus: The sexism of the church continues.

Orhie: This has nothing to do with sexism. He was appointed a while ago has been confirmed today. They're still trying to resolve the issue of appointing women as Bishops. Once they finalise it, there'll be female Bishops and then one can be appointed one day as ArchBishop of Canterbury.

Rotus: Why is this an **issue** in the first place? Why haven't female bishops in leadership positions been part of the Church's history?

Ovie: Because men have dominated all part of human history

Rotus: Thank you. Including their interpretation of a woman's place in the church passed off as coming from a so-called "divine" source. I rest my case

Ovie: Why haven't asked why there aren't many women in the National Assembly? Or why there are so few women that head governments?

Orhie: I don't understand your intransigence about the Church. You pick on it over EVERYTHING. There is sexism EVERYWHERE, in the workplace, in the police force, everywhere. The Church is at least, trying to resolve its issues. You're acting like sexism started 1st in the Church. You're don't believe in Christ, that's your entitlement. But it's wrong to continually pick on the Church every single day.

Ovie: Whether women head or don't head the Church is irrelevant. God used both sexes as He pleases to carry out His work

Orhie: Nigeria has never had a female Governor, let alone President. Even America the 'land of the free and the home of the Brave' has never had a female President. So why this constant picking on the Church?

Ovie: I tire oh. You don't like the Church and that's fine. But don't use things that are general and common place and make it out like the Church is the only offender

Orhie: But the Church did not start sexism, did it??

Ovie: Iv never heard you complain about sexism in any other place apart from the Church or Islam

Orhie: You just said 'a woman's place in the Church'; what about elsewhere? Did the Church decide women were 2nd class elsewhere too?? You're just using your prejudices to heap blame on the Church for things it had nothing to do with. And that's not fair.

I remember you telling Batarhe (a cousin) at Rume's (another cousin) wedding about how I don't cook and you acted like it was a really big thing [Editor's note: This isn't what occurred.]. If you're such a Champion of equal rights for women, why do you see it as a big deal that I don't cook?

You should eschew such traditional roles if you're such a proponent of equality of the sexes.

Rotus: As Lawyers, you both shouldn't introduce red herrings or straw men to distract from the crux of a point you're trying to put forward. It's poor form.

That you cannot logically infer the sweeping presence/agenda of patriarchy in religion, as you've alluded to in other parts of society, and it's denigration of the position that it's the will of a "divine" source, then you're just in denial and being emotive which faults your case.

Let's swap patriarchy for tribalism since you clearly don't get it (which is laughable); If Urhobo (Southwestern Nigerian tribe) people ran the govt, ran the private sector, and then claimed that the "bible" said urhobo people are the dominant tribe in all religious institutional affairs, then whose agenda is being promoted; God, or the Urhobos?

Please, you're adults, the writing on the wall is too clear to even pretend to deny it. That's disingenuous.

Ovie: You like to skip peoples points. I think you're the one in denial. You just don't like the Church. You're never objective in your arguments when it comes to the Church. Why does sexism in Church mean so much to you? Why not sexism in other parts of society?

Rotus: You don't hear me saying "You like church" as if to highlight a bias to aid my argument. #FAIL I'm simply raising gaping holes in your argument which you cannot defend head on. If you tried that in court, you'd get your clock cleaned by the opposing counsel.

Ovie: All your arguments are duds if you ask me. You go no were with them.

Rotus: Using "other parts of society" is an incredibly **weak** excuse to justify sexism in church because the so-called "divine" source shouldn't have a biased mentality towards one sex. If you can't see that, then you've lost before you even attempt to formulate a point to defend yourself

Ovie: If the women were continuously put down in Church and not allowed to do anything then I would see your point. But as it is women are free serve God and work in the Church. So all your 'talk' is negated. One can use examples to buttress their points. You just like to run around them and make it seem like such examples are pointless. You have no case against the Church. You choose to see the Church from one view point and you've convinced yourself that no matter what other people say its irrelevant. Your views are right and no other persons opinions or arguments matter. Whatever rocks your boat

Rotus: Looks like you guys have given up. Didn't even have the courtesy to address my analogy with the Urhobo tribe. Typical. All I've heard is "Why don't you point fingers elsewhere?" as if "elsewhere" like the National Assembly, operates under guidance from a so-called "divine" source that is supposed to be above sexism. 

Again, if you can't see the failure of the equivalence you're trying to present between "God" and the corrupt, inept national assembly, then you're lost in the woods. The point is - and pay attention here - the doctrine of the church is supposed to be above the failings of society with regard to sexism, racism, xenophobia, etc. To make the argument that one should question other parts of society where such similar deplorable attitudes exist is to make the church subversive to patriarchy when it should be the other way around. 

I feel for you guys though. It's a really difficult proposition to accept a belief system that you've been raised to think is perfect, then be confronted with realities that glaringly contradict this false idea of perfection and then be stuck running around in circles trying to defend the indefensible. My condolences

Ovie: Christianity is perfect. Accept my condolences for not accepting christ. You're missing out. There is no sexism in the church. Say what you want but you've lost even before you started.

Rotus: Yes, Christianity is perfect, thanks.

The wedding, on our (my) terms

If it is to be believed that all humans are created equal

Then the wedding should be planned by the participants: both people

I want a wedding in a Tree house, a wedding in a sand castle

A wedding on a butterfly farm with 17 guests to avoid the hassle

I attended a wedding once, it was at City Hall

it was overcrowded like a construction site with not enough portable bathroom stalls

The surrounding neighbors were frustrated - they cried: "Why do you irk us?"

Why would you turn your Holy Matrimony into a great big circus?

I know why, it's because you wanna be seen

Your wedding became your manifestation of your materialistic dream

Your friends and family flipping through your photos in Ovation Magazine

Not I, my ceremony will be on a submarine

That sailed around the world sharing recipes for the Navarin

With everything captured on a little camcorder LCD screen

Picture perfect, my wedding is for my memory

For the MC I'll time travel to the 90s and bring back Bill Bellamy

I'm a health nut, so the wedding menu might be ice tea and celery

All in my mind, this is how I planned it

If I had the oxygen capacity I'd get married on a different planet

Maybe Saturn, because she wanted a big ring

But I'll have 50% of the decision of which extraterrestrial band that sings

The Pastor? I like the French, so he could be Sylvain Wiltord

The ring would be delivered by a 3-legged Alligator in a Bart Simpson mask on a skateboard

Yes it all sounds strange, but this is the path I am treading

Because at the end of the day, it is my wedding

The 4am Saturday Commercial Wedding Rant

There's a line in a previous poem on this blog about weddings that goes as follows;

"The surrounding neighbors were frustrated, they said 'Why do you irk us?

Why would you turn your wedding ceremony into one big circus?'"

Last night, someone uploaded this picture on Blackberry Messenger and, while understanding fully well that folks have the right to show off this kinda stuff, I wrote the following and sent it out as a broadcast message to all my contacts. Kinda surprised it made any sense. 

"Staged, contrived, vomit inducing "moments" like these milk other disillusioned sheep of their savings and turn an intimate ceremony into a circus. 

Who is the ringmaster of this circus? Consumerism and it's long tentacles of materialism that link self esteem to public acts of ceremonial branding. A pathetic promotion of "me too-ism" that sweeps through the consciousness of brainwashed couples (and singles) flipping through glossy capitalist pages of profit driven media outlets that display the in-your-face grandeur of the upper class and their disgusting opulence as the be-all and end-all of life.

Wide eyed, deceived marionettes and mannequins cannot see consumerism's strings. If they could, they'd follow in the footsteps of multimillionaires like the founder of the world's most popular online social network whose ceremony was conducted in the privacy of his backyard under the guidance of humility and the acknowledgment of the intimacy this moment requires.

Blessed are the non-conformists, for they shall inherit the leftovers of the gluttonous acts of societal peer pressure and groupthink, and raise the next generation of socialists that put communal interests first, and abolish abused scripture stamped approval of ceremonial showmanship.

A humble humanity counts on this."

Marvin's (weight) Room

♫ The woman that I would try, is happy with a fat guy

But I’ve been lifting so much, that I’mma call her anyway and say ♫

♫ F*ck that hippoooo that you love so baaaad,

I know you still think about my lack of flaaaab ♫

♫ I say f*ck that rhino that you think you fooound

Your head on my shoulder, muscular and round ♫

♫ Ohhh ohh ohhhh ♫

‘’Are you pumped right now?’’

♫ I’m just saying you could do better

Holding hands, we’ll jog together ♫

The convenience of fortune telling dreams

A friend posted the following status message on facebook:

''Had a dream someone I know robbed my sister & I masked...not knowing it would be us but continued....I couldnt get to gun #foreshadowing?''

The first response said: 

''Good that you could get gun....just pray..sometimes dreams are meant to make you more cautious..pay attention to detail.....tell all to slow down and be more aware. pray first rebuke and bind that dream''

 My friend replied:

 ''Couldnt...and yeah that was my first step...i have dreams that tell the future...this isnt one of them...i know what those feel like now....but something still remains weird about this one...is like who it was is not important but instead the type of person...a flashy person always in the mix...that some would assume had it all that i know is a loyal person but only to thosd he cares about...out robbing and ashamed to support the lifestyle...tomorrow is not promised...cherish the day fbers...sveryone you think cares even though ashamed...they have goals...it could be at your expense''

I'm fascinated at how the first commenter (mistakenly) thought it was ''good'' my friend could get his gun and in the same breath also urged him to ''pray first rebuke and bind that dream.'' Seems to me the presence of the former would not require the latter as a means of security. Anyway, I could have sworn cooperating while being robbed more often than not ensures the avoidance of risk of loss of life and injury, rather than react violently and risk a potentially fatal outcome. Especially in this case where a family member is involved. But he didn't elaborate on the details of the dream that prompted him to reach for a gun that wasn't there so I'm just speculating on what I read.

I do wonder, however, how this dream (and conversation between the two) would have played out if they lived in say, the United Kingdom where strict laws against gun ownership exist as opposed to Texas, where my friend resides and I assume is where he was located when he had the dream. Perhaps he would have been equipped with a knife or, unarmed and forced to cooperate? It's quite interesting how one's surroundings affect their thought process and subconscious.

Now the interpretation of the note of caution makes sense. But this is what stood out for me in the reply from my friend;

''i have dreams that tell the future''

As seen in the full quote at the beginning of this post, he did state that this particular dream wasn't one of them, but I was still struck (as always, despite hearing them repeatedly from other people that share in his faith-based belief system) by this revelation. However, from what I've observed, these Nostradamus predictions almost always deal with the immediate surroundings (made up mostly of personalized experiences) of the dreamer (usually involving family and friends but sometimes complete strangers) and hardly ever stuff that strays out of that surrounding (unless of course you're a public religious figure, in which case, the predictions are more grandiose). For example; I don't know of anyone that had a dream which predicted Fermat's last theorem would be solved by British mathematician Sir Andrew Wiles, or that the Higgs Boson particle would be discovered 48 years after Professor Peter Higgs publicized his theory in 1964.

The only two people that could reasonably have had such ''dreams'' that predicted their respective futures are the individuals mentioned; i.e Wiles and Higgs, and possibly their family, close friends, and colleagues privy to their day-to-day work. It is for this reason that I take with a pinch of salt ''prediction'' dreams which sometimes originate from a supernataural source (based on the beliefs of the dreamer). My friend is a christian, and as seen from the first response to his status message, it didn't take long for communication with god through ''prayer'' (a popular post-dream action when contents of the dream depict threats) to be suggested. My friend's affirmative response (''yeah that was my first step'') suggests ''prayer'' would somehow lead to an intervention from above that would prevent the events of the dream unfolding in reality at a future time.

This makes me think of the biblical story of Joseph in Genesis chapter 37 who also saw ''future events.'' I find it extremely convenient how the dreams of many Christians I've encountered who ''predict future events'' happen to fall in line with Joseph's and rarely deviate. 

If there was no story of Joseph and his dreams (including other biblical stories of ''visions'' revealed during slumber), would these folks (that subscribe to the belief system that weaved these tales) categorically state they could see the future in their dreams? I doubt it.